“Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.”
-F. Scott Fitzgerald

I played the flute in the band in high school. As first chair and section leader, it was my responsibility to learn the music well and lead my fellow flutists through the new pieces. At our section rehearsal, it was clear to our band director, Mr. Albers that I indeed had failed to learn the piece at all. He looked at me and spoke four words that ring in my ears to this day, some 20 plus years later, “You can be replaced.” I never showed up again for a rehearsal without knowing my music. I wasn’t ever replaced and in fact went on to play the piccolo too. We can all be replaced, but we can make it damn hard for them to do it!

“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.”
- Colin Powell

If you don’t learn from your failures you are bound to repeat them. If your goal was to get 10 new referral clients, but you only secured 8 you need to figure out what happened between 8 and 10. Yep you failed – you failed to get two additional referrals but you were successful in getting eight! Anytime you fail at something the question then becomes, what stopped me from succeeding? Bad time management? Not enough networking? Simply forgot to ask for the referral? Figuring out the reason for the failure is the only way to ensure it won’t happen again. Failure should not be a measurement of how bad you did at something; failure should be a measurement of what else it takes to succeed.

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”
-Robert F. Kennedy

Did you know that Thomas Edison experimented with over 6,000 different materials to use as a filament in the light bulb before he found one that worked? He said, “I have not failed. I just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Even for a marketing person, that is pretty impressive spin. Vincent Van Gough created more than 2,000 pieces of art and over 900 paintings in his lifetime. His most famous pieces were produced during the last two years of his life. Guess how many he sold? One! OK – so the guy went a little crazy and cut off part of his left ear, still, would anybody call him a failure today?

There is something to be said for sheer determination in the face of failure: that persistent, incessant beating of will and tenacity that will not let you quit; the ability to stare down failure and pursue success and simply not give up, ever. To fail again by failing to learn, shows contentment with mediocrity. To me, mediocrity is worse than failure. I would rather fail at great things than do average things well. Don’t be content with your failures and don’t be content with your successes – there is always more to learn.

Question: What are you willing to fail at before you succeed? And what will you learn from those failures?

As a young professional like the rest of you, I hear the buzz phrase of “work/life balance” often. Articles are written on it, trainings and lectures speak to it and many of our employers claim it as a characteristic of their culture. We, the children of Baby Boomer “workaholics,” are gravitating to cultures that actually practice what they preach. Many of us work for employers who promise work/life balance and now it’s up to us to hold ourselves accountable to that promise.

Inspiration
I attended a Woman in Leadership Forum back in November where Sarah Susanka spoke on her newest book, “The Not So Big Life.” The message of her book encourages us to change our lives by making room for what really matters to us. Sarah began her career as an architect and is now a bestselling author of a series called “Not So Big House.” As a child she had what she calls an experience of contrast – an event that shifts how we look at things. She realized many Americans had rooms in their homes that were not used. She explained her astonishment that Americans invite strangers and the people that aren’t as important to them to sit in their “fancy” formal dining and living rooms, while the people they love and are most comfortable with join them in the kitchen or family room. It didn’t make sense to her that we saved the most “special” places in our homes for the people that were least special to us. This inspired her to design homes and spaces that excluded rooms that were minimally used. While her architectural designs reflect her message of “making room for what really matters,” Sarah has taken that message a step further in her career as an author. She challenges all of us to change the way we live by adjusting not only the physical spaces we live in, but also looking at how we live and if we are allowing ourselves enough time for what really matters.

What matters?
So how do we do that in the midst of such a fast paced society, where much of what we want we can get instantaneously; where there are timelines and societal pressures? How do we continue to be successful in our work life while allowing our other inner passions to surface?

Create Space
Sarah suggests that we not force things in our lives, but rather have patience, letting things happen as they will. She asked each of us to reflect on our internal passions – or things we find ourselves saying no to – and commit to them, even if only for an hour a week. She promised change will come naturally. My first instinct was to schedule time to reflect – do I need 10 minutes, do I need an hour or two? What will I have to give up time doing in order to make time for these surfaced passions? Sarah makes it sound so easy. Then I realized, she’s made room in her life for what’s important and her life was naturally transformed around those things.

Show Up
According to Sarah, “we have to get out of our own way and ‘show up’ in our lives; be present.” For starters she said, follow the synchronicities. If we are present in each moment we will become in tune, realizing many things happen in sync, which moves us in a direction.

I know the work/life balance mantra is what I expect for myself and what I strive for. However, it’s much easier to be dedicated to success and growth at work because there are eight hours a day set aside for it. What habits do I need to put into place to help balance the equation? As young professionals, the habits we form now will influence company cultures as we become managers and leaders within our firms. What kind of examples do we want to be?

As we enter the New Year, striving to accomplish various resolutions, we have likely spent time reflecting on ways to improve ourselves and our lives. Why not add our inner longings that have been put on the back burner to the list? Sarah encourages people to write them down, make them intentions for the upcoming year. Something I have pushed to the back burner lately is my need for a creative outlet outside of work. One of my goals for this year is to revisit favorite hobbies, starting with a sewing class next month. Sarah reminded us that it is within our reach to grow into our full potential. By paying attention to what is actually happening – to look at things a little differently and to use each experience to help you see who and what you really are, we can be happier, more complete people. Sounds like a tempting New Year’s resolution.

Question: How have you had success finding/making time for the things that are important to you?